sometimes bitch you’ve jus gotta wipe those tears from your face, let out an unsettling hysterical laugh and fuckin go to sleep

saturdays are for ceasing to exist in the physical sense and becoming an abstract concept who deals only in memes and hozier

coffeechop:

when i shower and let my hair air-dry

semitics:

Me around gays and girls: dirty joaks

Me around straight men: no I do not know what sex is, and I am not interested in knowing. Also, if you mention it I am calling the police

I broke a nail and if you think I’m filing the other 9 to make their new ugly sister feel better U are dead wrong. Idc what ppl say about her. She betrayed me. She betrayed this family

What girls say: I’m fine
What girls mean: I’m too embarrassed to ask for water from your mom because this is the first time I’ve been over and she’s asked me like 500 times if I wanted any and I’ve been saying no but I’m dying of thirst

combeferret:

conquerorwurm:

One of my favorite things to see is random people trying to interact with unfamiliar outdoor cats. Just standing there with a hand out, making kissy noises, maybe meowing at the cat while it ignores them. Mankind at its best and least dignified

#stop calling me out

thespookybisexual:

qoa:

i’m screaming???

ME

gaydanascully:

“how do u sleep so much?” depression

“omg why do you stay up so late” depression

“how do you still manage to get everything done?” anxiety