Dwarves shit huge and pee little… elves pee large and shit barely at all
Dwarves work in mines, their kidneys are in overdrive clearing all of the toxins and heavy metals they come into contact with. Their diet is mostly high efficiency foods, such as meat and fat and mushrooms. They probably don’t get a lot of plant matter in their diets.
Meanwhile elves’ diet is almost 100% plant matter (and all of the fiber that comes along with that) and their lifestyle is obsessed with fresh air, clean water, and a pure environment.
Face the facts: dwarves pee huge and shit little, and elves shit large and pee barely at all
From the same campaign as the Artifact Room of Tomfuckery:
After the campaign, the parties return to the village they save…
DM: And Rev, there are now plenty of pretty farmer’s daughters who’ve come out to see these brave adventurers.
Rev: I roll to flirt! *rolls like a 19 or 20*
DM: Okay they are super into you, and two of them come back to your room for the night. Everyone else in the party silently hopes your room is soundproof
Rev: Awwwh yeah, gonna… play some… monopoly. Shit gets loud when I play monopoly
Herburt (OOC): How much will you owe them after the game, then?
*everyone loses it*
DM: Herburt, take a point of inspiration because that was fucking savage.
1) beautifully constructed, thoughtfully named, you’ve had this character for five years, and it is only now that you have a medium to express them through. twenty pages of backstory and lore, you probably lovingly crafted a costume or a token to fully bring them to life.
2) it’s you, but you’re now a warlock or a paladin or some shit.
3) Its Joke (ex. Boo Boo the Chaotic Good Barbarian, Dio Brando but as a dryad, etc.)
4) Real Ass People (ex. Hatsune Miku, Barack Obama, Hulk Hogan, etc.)
hatsune miku real
1) Magnus Burnsides
2) Merle Highchurch
3) Taako Taaco
4) Tom Bodett
5) improvising the entire character’s personality and back story as the campaign progresses
Hello. So one of my biggest complaints of the D&D 5e Player’s Handbook is that searching for spells is a bit of a pain. Even if you manage to obtain a pdf file of it, many of the spells’ titles are written l i k e th i s, making it quite difficult to search with the classic ctr-F.
Because of this, I created a pdf of all of the spells that are in the book, complete with a table of contents linked to them, so you can search the table of contents for your spell, and then zip to the spell you need. Very useful, if I’m allowed to say.
Behold. It is on dropbox, though you can view it (without the magical zipping) without a dropbox account.
Happy D&D playing!
shit!
Hi so I’ve taken your document and taken your work a step further by putting every one of those spells into an Excel spreadsheet where each spell has separate columns for each aspect of it (level, school, casting time etc), including what classes have access to which spells!
This means that in addition to using ctr-F to search, a person can sort or filter by any number of criteria they’re looking for. For example, if someone is using the Arcane Trickster archetype for a rogue, they only have access to the Wizard spell list, and even then they can only (with a few exceptions) pick from the illusions and enchantments, so its useful to be able to sort by multiple criteria at once.
Here it is! You can only view, not sort, in the online view, and the way i’ve formatted it, the spell descriptions and a few other pieces of information get cut off by the edge of their cells so you’re gonna want to download this one to use it.
brianna's tumblr exports 