The people in the apartment below me are playing “Never Have I Ever” and I’m smoking on my porch creeping on their game
Guy 1: Never have I ever INTIONALLY walked in on my parents having sex
Gal 1: fuck you brandon! It wasn’t intentional! I didn’t know what they were doing!!!
Brandon (Guy 1): Shut up Katy no one is THAT oblivious take your drinkKaty: Never have I ever LOST a wet tshirt contest
(Good job Katy. You do you. Proud of you boo)
Gal 2: Never have I ever pierced my genitals
Brandon: IT WAS IN FOR LIKE A MONTH!
Katy: Whatever bitch, take a drink you Prince Albert having douche
Brandon: I’m being singled out I hate you allGuy 2: Never have I ever had a threescore
[Pause]
Guy 2: WHAT THE FUCK KATY?!?!?!?!
Katy: Shut up Andrew it’s before we even knew each other this was years ago!!!
[Pause]
Andrew: And you won’t even watch porn with me…(the family is disintegrating)
Brandon: Never have I ever been in such a confrontational game of Never Have I Ever….
[People saying ‘cheers’]
(stop fighting guys you’re tearing this family apart…..)
Andrew: Never have I ever had sex WITH a piece of food.
[Pause]
Andrew: Dude
Brandon: Dude
Katy: Dude omg
Gal 2: what? Omg EVERY girl has practiced giving head with a banana!
Katy: Um no Ester. SOME of us just practice on dicks.
Ester: what the fuck though. Whatever.(Don’t let them kink shame you Ester I still love you)
#TeamEster
#BananaSplitsAndrew is testing a banana. Go for it andrew. Explore your wild side
#TeamEster #TeamKinkBrandon: Never have I ever been called a fuckboy
Katy and Andrew: TO YOUR FACE
Brandon: Go fuck a banana Andrew#TeamBananaFucking
Ester: Never have I ever had a crush on a family member
Brandon: [random fumbling noises]
Katy: brandon omg ew
Andrew: yeah man come the fuck on wtf man its 2016
Brandon: SHE WAS MY COUSIN AND I WAS 13 IT’S NOT LIKE SHE WAS MY SISTER AND IT WAS JUST A CRUSH NOTHING HAPPENED
Ester: methinks thou dost protest too fucking much
Brandon: NEVER TELLING YOU SHIT AGAIN
Andrew: Chug your drink, Sir IncestsALot
Brandon: Chug a fucking banana Andrew#TeamBananaFucking #TeamWhatTheFuckBrandon
Katy and Andrew have gone home in an Uber to apparently sex it up. Alway use a designated driver, kids. And always put protection on your Banana.
#BananaCreamPie
#GamesOverKids
#TeamEster
Tag: celeste
One of my favorite things to see is random people trying to interact with unfamiliar outdoor cats. Just standing there with a hand out, making kissy noises, maybe meowing at the cat while it ignores them. Mankind at its best and least dignified
please get this off of my dashboard
Me: guys i promise i wont get drunk and buy two pounds of clay again
Me, after 3 drinks: in joann fabrics going fucking hog wild
tell your boyfriend, if he says he’s got beef, that
- I’m a vegetarian
- I ain’t fucking scared of him
jolting awake @ 3AM mood
me, awake suddenly: what.. the fuck
my body: water
me: what?
my body, louder: Woter
‘are you decent?’ not morally, but im wearing pants, if thats what youre asking
googles visual representation of mania is a man dejectedly cleaning his stove
at 2:52 AM, no less
“how do u sleep so much?” depression
“omg why do you stay up so late” depression
“how do you still manage to get everything done?” anxiety
brianna's tumblr exports 