romantic gesture

honey i……. bought us matching swords

My friend Chris bought a 12 pound bag of peach rings and won’t put it down.

For real

i just found out merriam webster has a time traveler feature that tells you some of the words that were “born” the same year as you. it’s pretty neat yall should do this

achlles:

this level of drama is gay

ignite-mylove-ignite:

ligerscout:

ligerscout:

Ready for April fools day
Gonna take it to school and eat it

I ate ¾ of the jar and I made 3 teachers gag and one friend get angry at me.

fuck bro, I thought you were gunna fill all those cups with mayonnaise and hand them out at school and some serious shit was gunna go down

When you and your friend are both self-deprecating as hell

daddy-erwin:

imhavingcontractions:

thirdstreetcettin:

When you guys are both self-deprecating at the same time.

@bonemarrow-writes
how did they get this picture of us??

glumshoe:

I walked into this kitschy little gift shop in Indy last night and my friends showed me this David Bowie coloring book. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it was far worse than I could ever have imagined.

glumshoe:

neurodivergent-crow:

glumshoe:

This kid hopped right into my shoe and proceeded to angrily sing to me when I picked it up.

I have never met such a talkative toad! Usually they just pee on me.

When a male toad is held a certain way they chirp. Why? Because it’s hard for toads to determine the sex of other toads. So if a male is mounted by another male, he chirps to alert him to the fact that babies will not be resulting from this, Uh. Encounter.

Basically that toad is telling you “listen I’m not gonna jump to get away but you should know I contain zero (0) eggs”

“I’m down to pound but jsyk it’s gay”

railroadsoftware:

I hate this hellhole website for making me familiar with fetish terminology against my will