when you make an oc as a joke and it’s all silly fun and games but then you accidentally start thinking more in depth about them and their story and who they are and realize it’s not a joke anymore
1. When I was six, a mummified hairless cat just sort of appeared by the house. I had to jump over it whenever I went anywhere. Nobody moved it, it was just there for a few months and then it disappeared.
2. There was a cow head just laying out back for a while. I think my gramma was feeding it to the chickens. I fucking hate the chickens.
3. Every Halloween, my mom would send me to the dead pile to get bones to scatter around the yard for decorations. I never really realized it was weird that we had things called ‘dead piles’, but there you go
4. My brain went fuzzy during a family barbecue and I don’t know what to tell you but I left for twenty minutes and came back with four other girls wearing cow pelvises and tubing as armour and claiming myself to be the ‘mighty lord magnet-tron’.
5. I found a kayak in the forest once. I brought it home, but my gramma stole it.
6. Found a cracked fish tank buried under a tree once. I took it home, but my gramma stole it.
7. There’s a lot of bathtubs in the forest and I don’t know why
8. Someone left a deer head on the porch once. Not sure why. Just the whole head, cut off at the neck. That was odd.
9. There’s just these… Weird, powdery chunks of.. I dunno, something. Just buried all over. I don’t know if they’re soft rocks or what
10. Some friends and I found something big and dead inside a garbage bag under a log, once. We told an adult but they said not to worry about it so we sort of let it go. It’s been nine years and nobody’s questioned it
11. Our rooster killed itself. Not sure how, but it did.
12. A bird carried my cat away when I was 7 and nobody told me so I spent 6 weeks looking for it. I only found half.
13. There’s a lot of skulls
14. There’s a spot out back where kitchen appliances just show up. I found a wok, a toaster, a toaster oven, and two sinks so far.
15. A bunch of porn was just… In the woods. DVDs. And a couple bible-on-casette albums. 3 pairs of prescription glasses. Someone was into some weird shit, I guess.
16. Sometimes the air smells like death and my mom just goes, ‘think it was something big?’ And I have to go find it
17. My gramma keeps collecting toilets and 4 foot tall solid wooden lawn gnomes and decorating the driveway with them
18. Every once and a while the sky just doesn’t go all the way dark at night and I’ve stopped questioning it
Okay I don’t know how this got so popular all of a sudden, but I’ve gotten a lot of messages asking if I live in Nightvale or a supernatural episode and I feel the need to clarify that while some of this stuff is kinda freaky my town is actually a rather pleasant place to live. I mean, there’s the ocassional imploded fence and something in the forest that whistles back, but we get some lovely sunsets and the sheep don’t bite
when ur hanging out in ur apartment u’ve got some candles lit ur feeling good u’ve had 8 glasses of wine then down in the street u hear two beautiful boys skateboarding or doing flips or something so u invite them up and they say where’s the bed and they ask if they can sit on the bed and u tell them sure but the sheets are expensive japanese linen and they tell u they’re not even soft:
you know when you’re at the dentist/orthodontist and they give you that AirTube that just gets rid of all your spit and makes you feel like you met a wind god and deepthroated his tornado dick
This one time I was at a street festival hosted by my Uni and there was a guy doing card tricks. I was watching him when I noticed he dropped a card. (7 of spades) I quickly pu my shoe in it and then bent down to act like I was tying my shoe. He then asks for a volunteer so I raise my hand. He asks me to say the name of a card at random so I say “7 of spades” he does his trick that I guess was supposed to make it come on top. He holds up the Ace of Hearts and says “is this your card?” And I hold up the card and said “no but this is” and the crowd LOST IT. I handed the card back to the magician and walked away. Later he comes up to me and asks me how I did it. I looked him in the eye, smiled and said “magicians never reveal their secrets” and walked away.
“I pick up the knife” is now a mini-meme among my party and obviously it just means “I did something impulsive and now it’s going to take two sessions to solve.”
“I pick up the knife” saga continues because listen we can sit around failing investigation checks all day or we could play d&d
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