it’s so difficult not being able to use milennial humor in a corporate setting. like i made a mistake today and i wanted to tell my supervisor it’s because i suffer from Dumb Bitch Disease, but do you think that would fly?? fuck no. i gotta say shit like, “sorry for the misunderstanding!” i can’t wait till the workforce is made up entirely of millennials and i can say “sorry i drank idiot juice for breakfast this morning” and my coworkers will be like “oh worm.”
Weird how opening spotify in a web browser with a decent ad blocker allows you to skip ads just like would happen if you had premium. Sure hope no one takes advantage of that.
How come reading tea leaves is seen as this sophisticated, witchy thing but if I slam dunk an open can of Chef Boyardee ravioli onto the pavement in the gas station parking lot to see what kind of soda the old ones think I should buy, foodstuff divination suddenly isn’t cool anymore?
‘Tis the fuckin’ season, friends!! Get out there and live your worst life!!
What the fuck is happening
Why don’t you grab a can of ravioli and ask!
how about I just whip a can of Mountain Dew as high into the air as I can and read the splash patterns when it busts open on the road?
I have until a car drives over it and makes tire tracks in the dew to get a good reading, and somehow the busy streets seem to be more accurate at this form of divination.
brianna's tumblr exports 