today’s the day
fuck I posted this a day late
Time is an illusion you fuck.
Category: Uncategorized
me going down the stairs holding my boobs but in october
Guys do centaurs have to eat both horse food and human food?
Centaur, eating out of a burlap sack of hay like it’s potato chips: So do you guys wanna get Chipotle later?
Centaur: *kneeling on the ground, ripping up bits of grass and eating it*
Nearby horse: *neighs*
Centaur: Well it’s easy for you to bend over, isn’t it?
Horse: *snorts*
Centaur: *through a mouthful of grass* Well goody goody for you, but some of us have two spines.
Human: Hey does somebody want the rest of my burger?
Centaur: Oh I’ll have it. I am starving.
Human: Didn’t you just eat like an entire barrel of hay?
Centaur: *snatches the burger* That was for the horse stomach not the human one. Don’t be racist, Carl.
Centaur: *eating a carrot*
Human: So does stuff like that go through both stomachs or…
Centaur: *pauses mid chew* *swallows hard* Well that’s something else to keep me up at night.
me: [accidentally closes a chrome window with 50+ tabs]
my laptop, gently weeping: oh my god………… oh ym hgod thank you so much……….. thank y
Me, realizing my mistake, reopening Chrome and preparing to mash ctrl+shift+T to bring them all back one by one:
My computer:
my computer watching me click the “Restore” option for all of my tabs after shutting down unnaturally:
You should all be detained ASAP
I want LG🐝T on a tshirt please
LG🐝☕️
i woke up at 2 am, thought “can you use nipples on a touch screen”, and then fell back asleep
the answer is yes
i woke up at 2 am, thought “can you use nipples on a touch screen”, and then fell back asleep
college professor just said “you’re probably too young to even remember this” and brought up something that happened in 2011
Better than my professer that said we’d “probably recognize this from Saturday morning cartoons” then showed us a cartoon from 1935…
you know when you’re looking at quotes for your favorite book minding your own business until suddenly the ghost of your past slams into you with the force of an oncoming train and screams in your ear to reread as soon as humanly possible because i sure do
Me scrolling through these posts
brianna's tumblr exports 