When you’re team iPhone and you follow Apple maps and end up getting lost and the android user in the back seat comments “this would’ve never happened if you used google maps”
this is so advanced
I feel like I’m hallucinating this
Category: Uncategorized
The “cereal before milk or milk before cereal” debate ends now.
This is beyond upsetting
Use y=mx+b to calculate the slope of the line you just crossed
Use y=mx+b to calculate the slope of the line you just crossed
Today is Lovingly Look At Your Lizard Day
Please Lovingly Look At Your Lizard Today
Trees live underground and use the above-ground part as a snorkel.
I fucking guess
you will not believe the date i just had
I miss this meme
I like haunted houses in theory BUT I have no idea how to react when the actors speak to you. They ask me a question and I just… answer it…
The scariest part of a haunted house is the unscripted social interaction.
Scary nurse in a creepy voice: “Do you have an appointment to see the doctor?”
Me: “Uh. Do you accept walk-ins?”
Scary farmer: “I like to kill people!”
My friend, brightly: “I like to die!”
Zombie : “AARRRGH”
Me : “Do you get dental insurance?”
Zombie : “TEETH!!”
This happened to me.
Scary prison dude: HELLO
Me: Nice to meet you!
Him: (pause) No it’s noooooot
gps: pronounces one (1) street name wrong
every person in the car:
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