biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

just-artist-thoughts:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

i gave my sister $100 for her bday, but i gave it to her in $1 bills that i folded into origami. so that’s how she pays for delivery food & now the pizza girl thinks she’s a stripper

You’re really good at origami holy sh

i learned it specifically to make these for this exact situation 

gothhabiba:

me, every single month without fail: huh weird I feel kind of bloated and lethargic but also very hungry??? and I’m breaking out??? and my back hurts??? this is so strange I have never experienced this before in my whole entire life… what could this be

me a few days later, every single month without fail: oh

thebootydiaries:

*house phone rings*

Me: no

azure-quill:

dingdongyouarewrong:

chuck tingle, two time hugo award nominee and author of such erotica classics as ‘space raptor butt invasion’, ‘i’m gay for my living billionaire jet plane’, ‘bigfoot pirates haunt my balls’, and ‘there’s a bitcoin in my butt and he’s handsome’ just published a short story about the importance of consent and how it’s okay to have a loving relationship without sex if you want to??? 

that’s lovely on its own but it’s also called ‘not pounded in the butt by anything and that’s okay’, which is my favourite book title ever

I honestly thought this was a shitpost. This had too many words in it that dont make sense together to be anything less. But no. its real. this is the cover:

and this is the synopsis. from amazon. 

what a time to be alive.

yangire-mun:

A professor asked if I prefer “Miss” or “Mister” (because nb) and I accidentally said “ya boi” without thinking so now I have a professor that calls me “ya boi Rogers” every time I see him.

random-cluster–missile:

paper-mario-wiki:

paper-mario-wiki:

heres one of those Aesthetic “Japanese Convenience Store At Night” pics

i bet if u wanted to, u could find like 5 other pics that look EXACTLY like this one

This is somehow more frightening than if he were in the distance

nora37574:

i-am-a-fish:

as soon as we start photoediting him into text posts nobody will be safe

iocane7:

heterokatedison:

officerhaughtstuff:

now get ready for the Screaming 20s – coming to a decade near you in 2020

is it too early or can we start screaming now

There’s actually a fair deal of overlap between cultural decades.  So not only is it acceptable to start screaming now, we can keep screaming up to the mid 30′s.