glumshoe:

mothisdustinthewind:

sartanator-3000:

glumshoe:

Me: [holding spray bottles of vinegar and de-odorizer] “Go go go! Get behind me, I’ve got this, I’ll cover you!”

Coworker: “Ha ha. Shooting with both hands?”

Me: “Yeah… it’s called duel-wielding. Now take cover!“

Coworker: “You make me feel old.”

Me: “…”

Coworker: “Yeah… I am old.”

Then I did a somersault, because I am obnoxious and get really excitable at the end of the day, like a trail horse on the route home.

this is exactly 0% comprehensible but i stil enjoyed it, thanks.

…they put vinegar in spray bottles now?

I put vinegar in a spray bottle, to aid in my fight against Smelly Piss Crimes.