jumpingjacktrash:

cheshirecodeless:

jumpingjacktrash:

probablybadrpgideas:

Describe all fights as uncharitably as possible. 

E.g. when the party is battling the evil lich in his lair: “as your highly trained warriors continue to beat up the old man in his living room…”

my dtd group compulsively does this.

interrogating evil!corp executives = “we kidnap old ladies!”

stopping evil!corp from using a planet with a corrupt puppet government as a giant money laundry = “we blow up el presidente and take all the drugs!”

our next story arc looks to be literally going to war against a hat, though, and i don’t think i can make that sound worse than it already is.

…what did the hat do?

became a god.

it’s a long story. it involves about six continguous months of ‘seebs no’ and several examples of lory being a damn hooligan. there were ziggurats and other worrying shapes. murphy was like “they look like chicken necks. i’m gonna wring ‘em.” but they wouldn’t stay dead. and then seebs no. and the hat. and it sort of metastasized? i’m not sure who put the demon lord in there. now the asshole of space is expanding. i think if we turned this job down the inquisition would put us all in a small box forever so off we go up the universe’s colon.

it’s like that.