The Avox Paladin

yourplayersaidwhat:

Context:
This is from one of my first forays into DMing a few years ago with some new players. The Paladin had lost his sword to a tree after critically missing the goblin and he’s just retrieved it.

Me: “You pull the sword out of the tree but it’s covered in sap; and we both know you can’t have a dirty blade.”

Paladin: “I lick the blade clean!”

Me: “Are you sure that’s a good idea?

Paladin: *nods*

Me: ”…Fine, roll under your Intelligence.“

Paladin: *rolls 18, 4 over 14*

Me, very fed up from previous shenanigans: “You proceed to cut off your tongue. All characters must now make an opposed charisma check with you to understand your charades. You get a +4 on those rolls for every point you rolled over your intelligence.”