m4ge:

sometimes i forget my sense of humor just doesnt work with some people. recently a guy asked me who i’d hang out with if i had the power to resurrect 1 dead historical figure for an afternoon chill session. i looked him square in the face and said “i’d bring back victor hugo so i could beat the shit out of him.” he looked at me in horror and asked “but why? what did he do?” shaken by his unexpected concern but still holding my ground, i responded that victor hugo wrote my favorite book and needs to pay the price for his crimes against me. “i dont get it,” the poor freshman said. “why don’t you like him then?” feeling clownish at this point but still hellbent on following my ironic hypothetical situation to the bitter end,  i told him oh no, i like him a lot. i’m planning on naming one of my future cats after him. that’s why i want nothing more than to deck him square in the face. 

anyways the guy dropped the conversation