ohmamadontyoucry:

pocketplant:

ohmamadontyoucry:

once i said “bust a nut” in front of my eleven year old sister and i didn’t want to get in trouble for it when my dad asked what that meant so i said it meant being mad at something and my dad has meetings regularly with four star admirals and i rly didn’t think he’d remember this but he dropped his shit n said he was gonna bust a nut n explained to them what i told him it meant and now, apparently, they like the phrase

Ellie you’re gonna cause a gotdamn international crisis

if secretary of defense general james mattis ever says “bust a nut” that’s my fault and if it causes an Incident™ i’m very sorry i just didn’t want my dad to be disappointed in me for saying bust a nut in front of my kid sister